Day one?

So I decided to start my rice diet today.. Ive been sick for the last week.. But im starting to feel better.. Finally.

So I told you I was terrible at keeping up with blogs.. Althougj I dont do too much but work and occasionally go out.. Pictures from our weekend out will come later when I can get on my computer. Im currently at work, on my break.. Figured it was the perfect opportunity to blog.. Lol.

So look forward to a photo post later on tonight. :)

Xoxo

Regular Day in the Neighbourhood

Okay, so blog post number two. I'm not sure what I want to say. Talk about my day? talk about my cat Spartacus here, who keeps on insisting I cuddle him, but refuses to let me pick him up to cuddle.. He's a weirdo that way.

So today I worked.. at it was okay.. I forgot my lunch at home.. which was a delicious piece of bbq chicken that carleen made for dinner yesterday. I also actually forgot to eat today :s So I'm waiting until I get hungry, which wont be long now, to eat my chicken and figure something else out. Lol. I have to be careful about my eating habits because if I dont maintain at least a meal a day,  my eating disorder will kick in, and none of us want that.

I'm trying to gain the ambition to get up earlier before work to work out and eat breakfast, and all that jazz. But because I dont finish work until 10pm, I end up doing all my daily activities after work, and end up going to bed at like 5am, and sleep until 12-12:30pm.. just to be up and ready for work at 2pm. It's terrible.. I was doing well for a while, getting up everyday between 8 and 9am. But lately I just can't do it.

But I'm trying. I at least want to do better in the weight loss challenge at work this year. Last year I placed second last.. I managed to lose 2 lbs.. lol which meant i didn't lose anything because you fluctuate between 2 and 5 lbs a day lol :s

Yeah I'm awesome with commitments. Lol, at least I'm maintaining my skin care.. Can't have it all i guess huh? Lol instead of skinny with great skin, I'll be fat with good skin! Lol. Being fat, and saying I'm fat, doesn't bother me. I actually genuinely LOVE being a fat kid. I love cake, and I love cookies, and chocolate. I eat pizza, and drink tons of diet pepsi. Lol. It's all good. If I call myself fat, it doesn't bother me when someone else makes the suggestion. However, just because I say it, doesn't mean i give permission for people to just up and call me fat. Lol.

yeah, lots goin on in the work department. I have my annual Child Abuse Awareness event happening in April which I am prepping for.. so much to do all the time. I don't think it'll ever get easier, team or no team, being able to afford all the things I need is hard. I need to make it an official not-for-profit organization so I can begin fundraising, and be able to not have to pay for everything out of my pocket.. One day, it will happen. :) It's our fifth year this year, hopefully in the next two years we'll be official, and be able to do more through out the year than just the one event in april :) It's a good dream.

Still awaiting my enrollment acknowledgment for school.. not sure what's going on with that.. still have to call them... uhhnngh,hate calling people on the phone.. -.-;;

Guess that's it for now buttercups.. lata! :D

Introduction - To Meet A Fat Girl - Lindsay :)

Hi! My name is Lindsay!

I have rewritten this post so many times already, and I still am clueless as to what I actually want to say. I guess at this point, I am just going to talk about what I hope to make this blog about, and what my dreams for it are.

So, I am an aspiring MUA, and I like to go out and have fun. I am your (mostly) typical 25 year old. Dreams of a grandiose life, but life gets in the way, and bills need to be paid. So I work a lot, all the time, in every aspect of my life. Lol, I work a minimum wage job, which takes up most of my time, and it just pays my bills. I also head an unofficial not-for-profit organization that brings awareness to the issue of Child Abuse. I am a musician, and a lot of the time, that feels like work too. I also enjoy reviewing make up products, playing with all of it, usually at really late hours of the night.

I have four kitties, and just giving them attention is a job in itself. Being like the most self-sufficient pet you could have, they are so needy.. Lol, but I love them very much.
I am adjusting to life as an auntie, to two kids I love very much. They mean everything to me, and i wouldn't trade in being an auntie for anything. It's amazing to watch children grow, from the moment they are born. Watching how much of an amazing mom my sister is inspires me to be like her, whenever I decide children will be an option in my future. Lol. I am the oldest of seven kids, so children are not on my immediate plans list, Lol.

So i guess my hopes for this blog are, to be able to show everyone that it is possible to be able to have self-love, no matter what your waist length is. You could be 300 lbs, or 103 lbs. It's all about being able to find a spot where you can accept yourself, and love yourself.

Now I come from a family, that have good genes, aside from my mild skin condition, which means, my skin gets oily fast, and I'm more susceptible to breaking out more often, for no reason. Lol. But what I mean my good genes is, I weigh 190 lbs, (just recently weighed the other day) and I know, you would never think that by looking at me. But it's true.
For the most part, I am quite content with my size, i am able to dress myself how i like, and not have to really go to and special lengths to gain happiness with my image. However, there are some things about my size that i am displeased with, and so, I am making it my goal to lose around 30 lbs, and hopefully be able to shop in regular stores, and fit my damned big boobs in regular average clothes. Lol. My main dislikes about my body are my boobs, and my back fat. Lol. I dont like my back fat at all, and it is my main goal to tone it up. :)

So in that light, my work place has begun a new annual weight loss competition, where we all put in a set amount, and then the person to lose the most bmi wins. This is my second time doing this, last year I didn't really try, as I used my awareness event as an excuse to stress eat, lol. But not this year! This year, I am going to try and lose my 30 lbs, and try to maintain 160 lbs, and hopefully tone up my arms and legs, and back. :)

So I guess this blog, is just going to be about my life, living as a 'fat girl', and accepting the term of 'fat girl'. Because there is nothing wrong with it. There are women, who are bigger than me, and they are so beautiful, and live their lives so comfortably. Weight is just a number, much like age. I mean I'm 25 yes, but I dont act like it most of the time. I'm mature for my age, but I still like to act like a 17 year old sometimes. And my weight is the same, I may weigh 190lbs, but I feel like I weigh 130lbs. I dont see myself as fat, i see myself as healthy. i rarely get sick, I'm not always tired, I get out of breath climbing my stairs everyday, but that could be because of the cigarettes, (Don't smoke, it's not good for you! I dont endorse smoking, I'd quit if I truly wanted too. I'm trying to convince myself to.. it's not working so far..) But in general, I'm quite healthy. My pant size ranches between a 13-15 depending on the make of the clothes, and I'm quite content with that. :) I desire to go down to a size 11, 10 maybe even a 9, but we'll see. A comfortable 13, without muffin top would satisfy me. :)

So yeah, this blog is to prove that you dont have to be a size 2 to live happily. But if you're reading this, and you ARE a size 2, this blog can help you too. If you are suffering from self-hate in general, regardless your size and weight, whether you feel un-pretty, or anything related to your self-confidence, this blog can help you. Because we are celebrating ourselves as we are, or as we want to be. You get your self, and self-image to where you feel comfortable. As along as you make you happy, then it doesnt matter what others say.

I'm hoping to build this into a community of bloggers, sharing a post a day even each. ;)

So I hope that this blog becomes everything I'm hoping it to be. I will be writing about everything and anything I suppose. From my cats daily activities, to feelings of loneliness, to my nights out with my amazing friends, to make up looks, and just everyday things like work and waking up.